Hipster state goes to Bernie Sanders

SEATTLE, WA – Surprise and shock swept over the state of Washington this afternoon as Bernie Sanders wins the state’s primary by a 3/1 ratio over Hillary Clinton.

There is actually no surprise there.

Bernie Sanders appeals to the crowd of Washington residents who prefer to stay away from the mainstream candidates, and usually choose who to vote for by “how dank their memes are”. It is no surprise a state that is full of people who believe that the Bernie Sanders meme groups are humorous would chose him in the primaries.

The real surprise here is that hipsters, millennials, and other internet supporters actually turned out to vote at all. Rather than sitting at home typing multi-page rants on how Democratic Socialism and European-style governance will save the United States and how Donald Trump is an evil Nazi who will kill Mexicans, they voted. They actually left the comfort of their studio apartment, rode a bicycle to the nearest polling place, waited in line, and cast a vote.

At least they did something productive.

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