Furry confused for sick dog, euthanized by parents

HAWTHRONE, CH – Confusion turned to chaos yesterday as a local furry found in his parents’ basement was brought to a veterinarian and euthanized.  However, it was not intentional. Gabriel Hernandez, a 56 year old man, was clearing out his basement around 4:00pm Tuesday afternoon when he found a large creature with matted fur and urine/feces on its body. Thinking that he discovered an ill mastiff that had somehow gotten into his residence, Hernandez called animal control.

When animal control arrived, they transported the slovenly fursuiter to Hawthorne Veterinary Urgent Care, still under the assumption that they were transporting a 6-foot-1, 190 pound mastiff to its death. When they arrived, a vet examined the furry and found fleas, a UTI, rashes, and matted fur. He was in such terrible shape that they decided to put the poor creature down.

“We didn’t have any idea that it was some guy in a costume,” the vet said, “everything went by the book and he died a humane, peaceful death.”

Joshua Hernandez, aged 19, was revealed to be the man underneath the costume, which was removed during the autopsy. Leaving medical staff and the man’s parents at a loss for words. Police have opened an investigation but charges are unlikely to be filed as it was a ‘sincere mistake’ or a ‘freak accident’.

Furry forums worldwide are yet to hear about this, but when they do, I’m pretty sure there will be riots angry posts in all caps.

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Area man thinks of genius April Fools’ joke, spreads celebrity death hoax

CHANGSHAN, NM – A local man has been having a lot of laughs today as his favorite holiday is celebrated. 62 year old Robert Sterling thinks that he’s a pretty good comedian and that all of his jokes are original and practical. Last year, he managed to get several of his friends by “Rick Rolling” them.

This year, he’s going to prank his friends at Meadow Falls Retirement Center by sending them an email with a link to a news article concerning Michael Jackson’s death.

“They’re gonna be so shocked. I think a couple of them are gonna have a heart attack!” An enthusiastic Sterling told NNN. “Don’t blame me though! -laughs-”

We couldn’t break the news that Michael Jackson died for real in 2009. I guess the internet isn’t for an old egg like him.